I spent a good portion of this past week contemplating the deeper things in life. I realized a few more really important things to tuck away in my “valuable life lessons” belt. The idea of happiness or the pursuit of happiness has really got my mental wheels turning…in the free flow sorta way though.

Last week I posted a quote on my Facebook wall, “Small opportunities are often the beginning of the greatest successes,” not thinking anything of it, when one of my friends commented with, “Yes, If you know your outcome, you will be able to define your opportunity as an opportunity.” Which launched me into a very interesting conversation with this young woman named Gerlaine. You can view the conversation in its entirety here.

It is hard to really grasp what someone is trying to articulate in short snippets on your Facebook wall, but I think I understood where she was coming from and took the time to explain why I thought such thinking, very common, was harmful to the human experience.

You see, when we live in the moment, when we are present, when we are living life, committed to life, involved in life is when we are our happiest and when opportunities tend to present themselves. They aren’t forced, they aren’t willed, they are the direct result of you being happy and content with what you already have and who you already are. People are attracted to that.

Let me explain. We all are born into this world happy. I’ve never seen a baby or a small child who was unhappy unless, of course, they were severely abused in some form or fashion. In general, babies and young children are both unconsciously confident and humble at the same time. They are little bundles of contentment and joy. They have no where to go, no where to be and really could give a rats ass what kind of diapers they are wearing or what car you are driving of if you are black, white, Chinese or whatever. They know one thing…unconditional love. Children have to be taught unhappiness and discontent. They have to be taught to be stressed, worried and self-conscious.

What that tells me is that we are all born happy and at some point in time we learn through our parents, socialization, conditioning, beliefs and the like how to be unhappy. Once we become unhappy we start this fierce pursuit to find our happiness and what I find really interesting is that it is always outside of us. It is always attached to a person, place, thing or circumstance. How many times have you said, “I will be happy when I get that job, raise, partner, have kids, the big house, car, vacation, lose that weight, change the world etc, etc…. Go ahead fill in the blank. I will be happy when I ________!

Think about that. You and I spend the best part of our lives chasing after an illusion of happiness when the entire time it was always right there inside of us. We create our own barriers, real or imagined, learned or inherited, to our happiness by entertaining thoughts that we are incomplete, nothing, less than without that thing or person or does this sound familiar, “If it doesn’t happen this way, then there is no way I can be happy.” “If my kids don’t behave a certain way, I ‘m just going to be mad.” We are choosing which thoughts we will entertain and give power to every second of the day while we completely ignore other thoughts. Think about that.

Now before you get to blaming your folks, hold on. This is the human dilemma in my opinion. I look at self-help now as the idea that we can’t be happy unless we fix what is inherently wrong with us. Some where along the way we’ve created a deity of perfection and hold that idea on a peddle stool and then spend the rest of our life trying to become that version of ourselves. Many believe they are broken and in need of repair and as a result all they see is their flaws and errors…everyone else’s too. We run, in futile attempts, to seminars, book stores and the like in pursuit of the next tool, technique or tactic that is going to “help” us become the person we think we need to be in order to be happy and complete. I now wonder if that is a direct result of the sinner/saint mentality that plagues so many people and has turned so many against the modern Christian faith? I’m bad therefore I need to fix myself so I can be perfect and acceptable to God so I can get into heaven and receive my reward. I used to think the same thing.

My point to this post is that happiness comes from within you and when you realize where the source of your happiness is, you will slow down. You life will start to look completely different to you.  You will stop focusing on your problems, your worries and concerns and realize that is a fruitless endeavor that leads to mental, emotional, spiritual and psychological, not to mention physical, burnout. You won’t have this intense need to prove–if you do you will start to see it for what it is and stop doing it– yourself because you will realize the only person that doesn’t approve of you is YOU! It is all in your head. You will realize that your boredom is directly related to the habitual, circular thinking that you keep running through your head. You will see the value in having high levels of mental well-being and you won’t allow anyone to take that away from you. You will value in seeing the trees from the forest. You will notice the little things in life and be touched by the simple things in your life. Your life will start to unfold in ways that you never thought possible even on your best day of trying to make your life better.

My husband left when I was two months pregnant. That left a huge scar on me as you can imagine. I didn’t have the mental well-being to withstand something so tragic and I suffered and coped with the loss for a very long time until one day I realized I was the only one holding on to the memory (memorization) and keeping it alive. As a result of being a single mom during the time period where it was still unacceptable…I was scared. I was horrified that my son would grow up and be another Dobson statistic and not knowing what I know now, I let my thoughts get the best of me and I pushed my son. I was worse than a drill sergeant and rode him hard about being somebody. I really emphasized the need for him to be exceptional, extraordinary and successful in an effort to prove everyone wrong without ever realizing what I was doing. In a way, I’m ashamed to admit, it was all about me. His success or lack of success, whatever that means, was a direct reflection on me as a parent. How crazy is that, yet I see a lot of parents doing it to their kids.

While I did a lot of things right with Zach, it wasn’t until I myself understood this idea of being average that I told him I wanted him to STOP trying to be great and just be average. I told him that he was already something, already successful, already somebody. I told him not to delay or postpone his happiness to some distant time in his future like I did most of my life. I said, “Zach, just be average. I want you to be a C or D student, go to an average college, date an average girl, have an average job, live an average life and be happy. Be happy right now.” He let out a huge sigh of relief and I think a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders. By removing my expectations of him, I helped him remove the psychological, emotional and spiritual pressure he had placed on himself. How scary that must be for our kids to not be able to live up to our expectations of them. How scary that must be for anyone when you don’t understand where pressure comes from.

What happens when we pursue life with such fierce determination of being extraordinary is that we end up becoming over achievers (who succeed or fail) who are often more lonely and isolated from their peers because while they’ve made it, everyone else hasn’t. Ironically we have a world full of average people who feel like losers and failures because they aren’t extraordinary. It is all psychological my friends and the moment you understand that you will be free.

What is worse is that you are like a dog who likes to play fetch and the bone is the idea that something outside of you is going to bring you happiness and you keep throwing that illusionary bone only to get there and realize you aren’t happy and so you create another bone and another until you collapse of exhaustion leading a very unhappy life.

When you take the pressure off of yourself and learn to just be average an amazing thing happens…you are no longer self-centered and pre-occupied with your problems, success, concerns, worries, doubts, fears and the like, that you actually accomplish the things you REALLY WANT to accomplish. Why? You are no longer spinning your wheels and wasting so much energy on trying to “figure out your life in the name of having a better life. You just let your life happen.

You see the law of attraction from the commercialized aspect can’t work because not even the authors can go an entire day without having a negative thought. It is impossible to do. As a result, there is a battle that emerges within you when you try to subdue your negative thoughts and think only positive thoughts. You have to call the thought authorities in and are in constant battle with your self gauging the thoughts you are having. When you find the negative thought–if you are like me a multitude of negative thoughts–you try to edit them to make them positive, this is called re-framing. The problem with that is…YOU CAN’T BULLSHIT YOURSELF!

Many followers of the law of attraction get frustrated when the universe doesn’t cooperate with their intentions and give them what they want. You can also really get a sense of people’s moods and the energy they put off and I’ve run into many people who on the surface try really hard to be positive but there seems to be an underlying discomfort or something is missing…as if it is contrived.

Until you understand the mechanics behind human psychological functioning, you will be missing the necessary link to understand where your happiness and self-worth, confidence comes from and even the law of attraction on it’s best day keeps you focused on what you want in order to make you happy. Your motivation is in the wrong place.

I was so used to playing fetch the bone with myself that the idea of having an “average” life seemed preposterous to me. I was even offended until I just sat with it and then felt a huge pressure being lifted off of my shoulders and as I relished in that feeling of peace and joy…I realized I was finally home. Everything I had been searching for was always right there inside of me and I am perfect just as I am today. I will evolve and grow as all things do but it is no longer my life’s pursuit to set out to try to fix myself or be a better version of me. I rather like me and I’m hardly perfect. For my imperfections, idiosyncrasies and character flaws…I humbly recognize that I’m at the mercy of  my friends and that they love me in spite of all my flaws and in God I place my hope, knowing that it is because of who He is and what He did that merits His love for me and not anything I am or do.  This really frees me up to love Him back from a motivation of humility and gratitude instead of reward and fear of punishment.

Hello, my name is Freda and I am just average and I’m damn proud of it!

*When I speak of happiness…I am not speaking of being high or upbeat, but rather a deep content and satisfaction with your life such as it is.

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To really grasp what living in the unknown is, call Pransky & Associates at 360-466-5200, ask for Nicole or Terri to purchase these Cd’s:

-The Foundations of Mental Well-being
-The Game of Life vs. Living Life
-Investment vs. Involvement
-Your Assets Are Your Liabilities
-The Busy Mind
-The Busy Mind – Revisited

Recommended Read: Supercoach: 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life by Michael Neill. Although the title really turned me off, I spent a few hours flipping through it at the request of a friend and there was some very good take aways within the pages. He studied with Dr. George Pransky and Sydney Banks for about 18 months. It is definitely a shift from traditional thinking.

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

So what is the unknown
I spent the better part of last year studying everything I could by Dr. George Pransky on human psychological functioning. After spending a few short days with George I experienced an magnificent shift in my thinking and my eyes started opening up to how my thinking works. Much like Disney theme parks, the attractions that we see pale in comparison to the sophisticated mechanics that lay beneath the ground hidden from our site. Very similar, our human experience is almost arguably 100 percent psychological. When you understand the magnificent mechanism behind the human psychological experience, you come to life and realize you are creating your own reality.

Mind, Consciousness and Thought are the three principles behind our human psychological experience. Summarizing briefly, your brain acts as a projector much like a movie theater projector. Consciousness is the special effects department that allows you to experience life through your five senses. Lastly, Thought is your script, the story played out slide by slide and projected onto your screen visible only to you. None of it could be possible with out Mind. Mind is the source or energy behind life. It is the universal intelligence that runs this sophisticated and dynamic world. All of that creates your reality, my reality and hence we all are capable of living in entirely separate realities. Additionally, you are the creator, director, special effects, characters and often the audience too.

It was George who introduced me these three concepts and to the idea of living more in the unknown. We have two ways to use our mind; as a computer that processes, analyzes and examines data or in a natural free flowing manner where we just allow thoughts to “flow” through our mind, much like a cafeteria trays where one pops up right after the other. We were made to use the processing mode of our mind for the specific use of analyzing data, or when we have enough information to make calculations like the distance from my house to the desired location I want to go to. When over used it will tax our energy resources and cause mental fatigue, stress and distress especially when we use it improperly…like to try and solve life problems. On the other hand, free flow thinking is effortless, easy and natural. It is what we come into the world with. It is living in the unknown. Our mind excels and is in it’s most natural state when we live in this free flow mode most of our lives. Yet, since we were small children, we are taught to override this free flow, natural mode and live more in the processing mode.

When we use our processing mode to handle the matters of the heart in the name of living a better life, solving our problems or whatever it is…we keep our attention focused on us 24/7. We have no trust in the unknown or that everything is okay and we constantly grab a hold of our thinking and run with it. Our minds eye is constantly preoccupied and consumed with our worries, concerns, problems, new deals, new jobs, our kids, our family, our past, our partners, our homes, our jobs, etc, etc…that it isn’t any wonder we are so stressed out. How is it even possible to come up with new ideas, innovative ideas, be creative when we are so uptight, consumed and exhausted by the way we are using our minds?

George gave me a gift because before that moment, I like everyone else I knew, spent 99% of my time in the analytical, processing mode in the name of trying to figure out my life, to get it right, to live a better life and the only thing I did was create a lot of unnecessary stress for myself and my life. I mean from the outside many people cheered me on and thought I was brilliant and successful. Truth be told, I was so burnt out, stressed out and mentally and emotionally drained that I rarely, if ever, enjoyed my own life and worst, I didn’t know the difference. Had I not had a hands on experience I had, I still would be on the treadmill chasing after that illusionary bone of success where I thought my happiness was.

When we trust in that universal intelligence or the source behind life that everything is going to work out, we stop trying to process matters of the heart through our intelligence or our analytical mode. Once you see, like the amusement park, how your human psychological functioning works and the source behind life, behind the fact that we even think. I mean where do our thoughts come from? We have something like 200,000 thoughts that enter our mind per minute, surely they come from somewhere. Why do our thoughts stop after we die? I believe that each of us is living on borrowed time. The source behind life, lends us our ability to think, breathe, love and live. I know that like me, for so many people, this takes a huge dose of faith to really let go of what you’ve been taught, stop relying on yourself and trust in the unknown. A bit whimsical or touchy feely? I thought the same thing to, until I started to see my thinking for what it was. The moment I SAW that I was using my mind against myself, I realized I could stop. The moment I saw that living in the processing mode was harming me, exhausting me and draining me…I realized I could let go and I did.

I have by no means arrived but I judge from where I’ve come and not where I’m going and last year this time I was mentally stressed out, drained and hit the wall. There is no magic to what I am saying, but it does require faith. Faith that no matter where you are at, no matter how things turn out, everything is going to be okay. It requires knowing where the human experience comes from and realizing that no matter what happens, you make-up your own story, your own reality and keep spinning it the way you want it to be seen on your screen. YOU and only you has the power to change the script, change the characters, change the plot by simply changing the way you think about it or changing your perspective.

There are many things in life that call for the use of our analytical thinking mode but matters of the heart, my friends, aren’t one of them. I simply live in the moment and I call things like I see it as best as I can based on the thinking I am dealing with at that moment and the information I have on hand and I make the best decisions as possible…for better or worse. There is no blueprint in life or perfect ending but the perfect ending is the one you decide will be perfect and it is often the one you are living right now.

When you live in the unknown you are okay with you and you do things because you want to not because you should, or you have to, or because of what other people will think of you. You do what brings you the most pleasure and the more time you spend there, the happier you are and an amazing thing happens you end up having the perfect kids, the perfect partner, the perfect house, the perfect job…

Trying to live life in the processing mode, other than the things that require processing data, keeps you worried and concerned about your life, about tomorrow which results in your being distracted, barely present, disengaged, less involved, hard to please, which results in feelings of boredom, exhaustion, low enthusiasm, little to no joy, up-tightness, rigidity, unhappiness, unexcited and always wondering what the grass holds on the other side of the fence.

Everything your looking for you already have, just turn around and see it or rather look inside because what your searching for truly is in your ability to understand how you are creating and contributing to your moment to moment experience. Once you understand for yourself, you will have a vertical shift in your thinking, often unconscious, and your life will all the sudden start to look different without anything changing. Remember the birds no not where their food comes from, yet they wake up everyday with a song in their heart and happy to chirp! Where does that come from?

Next post – Just Be Average!

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To really grasp what living in the unknown is, call Pransky & Associates at 360-466-5200, ask for Nicole or Trish and purchase these Cd’s:

-The Foundations of Mental Well-being
-The Game of Life vs. Living Life
-Investment vs. Involvement
-Your Assets Are Your Liabilities
-The Busy Mind
-The Busy Mind – Revisited

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

To match this more philosophical post I would highly recommend a deep, intense, full bodied wine to go along with it! Something like Matsu. My favorite is the 2006 Matsu Tinta Del Toro (100% Tempranillo). Matsu is an organic winery located in Spain and practices sustainable viticulture. The old man on the label is 91 and actually works at the winery. It is an expensive little number (about $40.00 at Binny’s) but totally worth it!

Moruba has created the branding and packaging for Matsu, an organic winery from the Toro D.O. Matsu is a modern a project for sustainable viticulture that brings together a unique collection of high expression wines.

The solution adopted is faithful to Matsu’s philosophy, his image has been stripped from all sorts of tricks to link directly with nature and the people who care about it. Thus, the Matsu’s wine triology, ‘El Pícaro’, ‘El Recio’ and ‘El Viejo’ are represented by a portrait series of three generations that devote their lives to the field. Each one’s personality embodies the characteristics of the wine that gets its name.

The renowned photographers, Bèla Adler and Salvador Fresneda, have been chosen by Moruba for the portraits realization that brings life to the characters of Matsu.

Last year I started learning about the unknown. I don’t even know how to explain or describe what the unknown is because after all it is the unknown. I know that sounds like a real head trip but how do you explain something you can’t see, that has no boundaries, isn’t tangible? So bear with me while I try to convey something I have discovered that has changed my life tremendously.

In today’s day and age it seems that everyone is on the fast track to becoming “successful”. You talk to people and one of the first things they ask is, “So, what do you do for a living?” I’ve had fun saying, “Nothing” for the past year just to see how people respond.

It seems like everyone is so busy and driven to have their piece of the pie that they are innocently caught up in playing the game of life instead of living life. I know because it wasn’t very long ago that I too was that person. Coming from a long line of entrepreneurs, I was, no doubt, bread to achieve. I used to be so driven and I was a slave driver (ask my son). I’m pretty sure the driving force behind my need to be “successful” was the fact that I felt invisible and had low self-worth, I jumped into life with this insatiable need to prove myself, to be seen, to be something.

You see though what happens when you are driven like that is you eventually hit the wall: emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally because it is your thinking that’s the problem and wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever your accomplishments are, whatever success you obtain will always be over shadowed by the thoughts in your head… it’s not enough. It’s like a dog chasing its tail…you never catch it.

You have to see it for what it is…just thoughts. I laugh now and I can totally tell when I get caught up in an image or the need to prove myself or attached to an outcome. I get really intense, take everything personal, I can’t pull away, it becomes more important than anything else, I get irritable, short, anxious, my mind is spinning and my chest tightens. Those are my tall tale signs that I’m hooked into my predisposed thoughts and conditioning. I now laugh, take a walk around the park and realize where I’m at and try to regain my bearings. I’m somebody, I am something, I am visible and nothing outside of me is going to give me that peace, security and self-worth that only I can give to myself.  There is so much peace in that. There is so much freedom in that.

It was this time last year that I hit the wall and life as I knew it fell apart. Oh, it didn’t happen over night, it took about a good two years for everything to culminate and thankfully it did when it did because I can’t imagine living life the way I I was used to. I was not happy and kept going in the wrong direction to find happiness. I can’t imagine not knowing what I know today. I can’t imagine being so bound up and under so much pressure, anxiety and distress in the name of doing better. You see, like so many people, I attached my self-worth, my self-esteem, the essence of who I was on things outside myself, the biggest being “success”.

I see this all the time, especially in very successful individuals. They never enjoy the fruits of their labor because their thoughts won’t let them. Their enjoyment of life is always postponed to sometime in the future, some time down the road I will finally be able to enjoy my life. Their self-worth is so attached to an outcome or an idea that they don’t know how to rest, to be, to enjoy their life because they are so caught up in playing the game that they forget that it is just a game. I guess the question I have to ask is when do you get to enjoy your life? When do you get to benefit? What if you had only six months to live what would you be wishing for? More time to work?

That was the key for me…realizing that life is just a game. When you lose everything you have to make a choice…to keep identifying with that image or let it go. George helped me let go of an image I had innocently but unwittingly gotten myself attached to. Once I could let go of that and just be me I started to see the power of living in the unknown. To know that no matter what happens I’m okay. I’m no longer living life as if my life depended on it. I’m not afraid of tomorrow. Do you know how many financially stable people I know who can’t sleep at night because they are worried about tomorrow, yet on the flip side I know so many people who have nothing and they are incredibly happy and live very fulfilling and satisfying lives. George really addresses this in his article: How Come I’m Not As Happy As I Am Rich?

I realized that the same power or source that makes my heart beat moment by moment, makes the sun rise and fall and breathes life into the flowers and trees in the spring is the same source that has my back. I’ve realized as long as you have your health, your life, your family, your loved ones close…you’ve got the world by the ass.

On that premise I realize that this source behind life is where all my thoughts come from. It is my genius. With all those worries, concerns, problems, doubts and fears (thoughts) I was carrying in my head or extraneous thoughts, how was it even possible for this Source to get through with fresh ideas? It couldn’t! Even if it could I was incapable of seeing it or realizing it because I would think myself out of a good thought. I would figure out why it wouldn’t work. I was so stuck and attached to my predisposed way of thinking, conditioning, my habitual way of thinking that I was that dog running after its tail.

I see this all the time when listening to other people talk about themselves, their relationships, their jobs, their kid, their friends…I do it to but am now catching onto it when I do it and see the humor and silliness in my own crazy thinking.

So what is living in the unknown? – Stay tuned for Part 2 because I’m just getting started.

___________________

To really grasp what living in the unknown is, call Pransky & Associates at 360-466-5200, ask for Nicole or Trish and purchase these Cd’s:

-The Game of Life vs. Living Life
-Investment vs. Involvement
-Your Assets Are Your Liabilities
-The Busy Mind
-The Busy Mind – Revisited

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

I spent most of my time exploring Highway One from L.A. to Santa Barbara. Take your hiking shoes, your camera, some towels and a bathing suite and a sweater for later, because you will encoutner some wonderful places to play and beauty you want to capture forever. The scenic view is breathtaking with the ocean on one side and the mountains on the other and unique little towns in between.

I spent much time exploring the Santa Monica mountains in Malibu via Kanan Dume Road and Muholland Hwy. The Muholland Highway starts in West Hollywood off of the 101 and goes all the way to Sequit Point and is absolutely breathtaking, especially if you catch a sunset. There are hiking trails with canyon views and some with ocean views and little surprises along the way. Also, you must stop in some of the very extraordinary towns and explore many of the paths that are designated to hiking and walking.

Thank you for taking this journey with me to California and reading about the great people, wine and time I had visiting such a lovely place. I hope to revisit soon…this time Santa Barbara to Napa!

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

Cork Pop's Giovanni Vacuum Wine Saver

Another handy dandy gadget every wino needs for their wine bar is the the Wine Vacuum. What the heck is a wine vacuum you ask! Well I’m going to try to explain it. Here goes nothing!

Often you buy wine and don’t finish the bottle for whatever reason but you don’t want to waste it and aren’t sure how to preserve it or if you are like me you like to experiment with lot’s of different wines every night and don’t wait for “special” occasions to drink, everyday is a special occasion in my book, hell I’m alive and super healthy that’s worth celebrating!  So there you are in your living room sitting back, feet up immersed into your favorite weekly series or book when you get up to go to bed only to realize you have half of bottle left. Damn it! Your liver is on overload but you don’t want to pour this yummy dinner down the drain…so you need an alternative.

What is one to do? Some would try to insert the cork back into the bottle with great strenuous effort and little success while others are a bit smarter and use decorative wine stoppers. The problem with the cork is that while you may get it back into the bottle it will more than likely suffer breakage and cracking which exposes the wine to oxygen. The decorative wine stopper while cute, also doesn’t stop oxygen from reaching the wine.

Why does that matter?
When you open a bottle of wine it is instantly exposed to air and when wine is exposed to air for any extended period of time, let’s say overnight,  it turns or rather is oxidized or spoiled which tastes flat or stale. In order to finish that lovely bottle of wine that you started you need to remove the oxygen from the bottle and the best tool to do this is a pump which comes in many styles and names. One of my favorite is the Giovanni Vacuum Wine Saver for $14.00 which comes with two rubber stoppers. The idea behind the pump is that it sucks the air out of the bottle allowing you to get a one or two more days out of the wine. It won’t preserve it forever and every wine is different but I usually get one to two additional drinking days which is more than enough time for me to finish the bottle off before it spoils or goes flat and I don’t have to waste it!

Whether you purchase the The Giovanni Wine Saver Pump, The VacuVin Pump or whichever, they should all “click” when you’ve successfully extracted all the air from the bottle. This doesn’t take a mental giant to work and is an added benefit to your wine tool kit and your pocket book.

Other Wine Saver Pumps:
Oneida Vacuum Pump Wine Saver- $14.99
Amazon Options

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

So back to where I left off in my last post, Josh had friended me when I was eating at Monsieur Marcel and joined me. After finishing my wine, closing out my bill and taking a doggy bag because the cheese and charcuterie plates were too big for my tummy, Josh and I headed to the beach. We walked around for several hours talking and checking things out. It was like I had my own private tour guide showing me all of Santa Monica. I got to see things I probably wouldn’t have seen otherwise. It was the insider tour. After walking for what seemed like hours it was getting late and I needed to get back home and pack so we headed back towards down town Santa Monica. Heading down Santa Monica Blvd Josh got really excited about a bar that he had forgotten about until we walked by it. He exclaimed, “You’ve got to check this place out! It is so cool.” As soon as I walked in I was like, “I’ve got to stay and have a drink and try this food!” It was a very progressive Spanish Tapas joint. Everyone knows how much I love Spanish wines, the food, the people and their lifestyle.

I was so excited about this little find, just like the rest of my trip it was so unexpected and spontaneous!

BAR PINTXO. This was such a fantastic place and very authentic. We got there right on time because after we sat down the crowd came and the wait was long but totally worth it. Kinda like finding Mr. Right only to discover he will be gone for a month or two…you wait! This was not Mr. Right now…this was Mr. Right and I would have waited.

To start out with the olives they brought to the table were over-the-top. They added their own unique spices and marinated them in something special and I couldn’t help but eat them like candy…the best olives I’ve ever tasted. Marieke, the general manager, was a great at assisting us in our wine choice. After asking her a million questions about the bar, I told her what I liked and asked her to surprise us. She brought us a seductive little number; 2008 Luberri Carbonica Maceration from none other than Rioja…my favorite Spanish wine region. Most of the wines that BAR PINTXO carries are unique and difficult to find anywhere else.

Wine Fact: Traditional method of carbonic maceration which implies the transformation of the grape into wine without prior crushing. The bunches of grapes are put into stainless steel containers whole, with the greatest of care being taken not to burst the fruit.

Joseph Miller is the owner of this progressive tapas bar, but also is owner of the elegant and well known Joe’s Restaurant in Venice. Joe happened to be at BAR PINTXO that night and I was lucky enough to chat with him. What a great guy. He spent a lot of time in Spain, in Basque Country, where pintxos (finger foods) are like tapas but better. Some even say that pintxos are the best Spanish tapas in Spain.  He fell in love with the Spaniards, the wine, the food, the culture and their way of life and wanted to bring a taste of Spain back to California.

Since the concept is based on small plates (check out the history of tapas! Very interesting) we ordered several small plates:

Sopa Del Dia – Spanish Soup,
Espinacas a la catalana – wilted spinach, garlic, pinenut, raisin
Endive – endive, valdeon cream, anchovy, walnut
Gambas Al Ajillo – white shrimp, garlic, lemon and parsley

I must say each plate was delicious…over the top. I especially loved the soup. Many of the ingredients are used from the local farmers market so everything is very fresh. I loved that the kitchen is up front so you can watch the chef while he is creating each of his Spanish masterpieces. It was a hopping place with lot’s of vibrant energy and good feelings floating around (My friend Matt would say it was because I was there. He kids me and says when I leave Chicago I take 90% of the energy with me). Over all it was a fantastic end to my three week trip and I was delighted to find BAR PINTXO and meet Joe and discover his passion was similar to mine! Once you go to Spain you are hooked and changed forever.

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

This week I want to introduce another really cool site that in my opinion will come into play at some point in your wine drinking experience. Last week I was out with one of my best gal pal’s, Deb, and while we were sitting at the bar she asked me what the difference was between the different wine glasses. That is a great question which I tried my best to explain not knowing that much myself. This conversation got me thinking and the next day I started researching wine glasses and wine.

As I expected I found a great site and tool to explain and help every wine geek figure out what is what. Even if you don’t entertain but just want some basic knowledge on what wine goes with what glass you will really appreciate and have some fun on this site. Riedel (pronounced “Rhee-dl”) is the finest wine glass company in the world. They’ve been making wine glasses for over 250 years and eleven generations. Riedel has set the standard for delicate glassware with their unique glass blowing techniques. All other glass makers use Riedel as the measuring stick. Riedel has gone to great lengths to create a very comprehensive but simple wine and glass guide based on over 250 years of experience and their unique philosophy.  They have a glass for every wine you could possibly think of and spirits too! Their Wine & Glass Guide is a bookmark must every wine geek should have handy.

It is so simple even a caveman could do it. Simply go to the Wine & Glass Guide and click on the wine you are drinking and up pops several wine glasses to choose from! Some wines have more glass options. I would also like to mention that when I was in California I went to a Target store and to my surprise they had an entire Riedel wine glass display so don’t fret, while these can be expensive glasses they have made a line of more affordable glasses too!

Claus Riedel was the first person in the long history of the glass to design its shape according to the character of the wine. He is thus the inventor of the functional wine glass. He has worked with experienced wine aficionado’s, sommeliers and tasters to determine all that goes into helping bring the best characteristics out of a glass of wine.

Professor Claus J. Riedel was the first designer to recognize that the bouquet, taste, balance and finish of wines are affected by the shape of the glass from which they are drunk.

Fifty years ago he began his pioneering work to create stemware that would match and complement different wines and spirits. In the late 1950s, Riedel started to produce glasses which at that time were a design revolution. Thin-blown, unadorned, reducing the design to its essence: Bowl, stem, base.

Working with experienced tasters, Riedel discovered that wine enjoyed from his glasses showed more depth and better balance than when served in other glasses. Claus J. Riedel laid the groundwork for stemware which was functional as well as beautiful, and made according to the Bauhaus design principle: form follows function.

The glasses are designed to emphasize a wine’s harmony, not faults. Riedel has always viewed the wine glass as an instrument to bring together: the personality of the wine, smell, taste, appearance (including the beauty of the object).

To fully appreciate the different grape varieties and the subtle characteristics of individual wines, it is essential to have a glass which has a shape fine-tuned for the purpose. The shape is responsible for the quality and intensity of the bouquet and the flow of the wine.

The initial contact point depends on the shape and volume of the glass, the diameter of the rim, and its finish (whether it is a cut and polished or rolled edge) as well as the thickness of the crystal.

As you put your wine glass to your lips, your taste buds are on the alert. The wine flow is directed onto the appropriate taste zones of your palate and consequently leads to different taste pictures. Once your tongue is in contact with the wine three messages are transmitted at the same time: temperature, texture and taste. – Wine & Glass Guide

Some other fun & educational links:
Serving Temperatures
Wine Color  Guide
Stages Of Wine Tasting

Riedel White Wine Glass Collection

Riedel Red Wine Glass Collection

Riedel Dessert Wine Glass Collection

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

As a woman, I hate when guys assume they know what wine I like and and don’t bother asking me. I want to be involved in my wine drinking decisions. Although I am very open to trying new wine and certainly don’t blame a guy or hold him in contempt for being excited about wanting to turn me on to something he really likes…but I hate when I’m not included in the process. I dislike when people make assumptions about me without asking me. My dad had a saying when we were kids, “When you assume you make an ass out of you and me both.” I don’t know why but that has stuck with me and it is very true!

If you want her to think highly of you and respect you, a gentleman–and I might add a very intelligent, savvy man– take the time to find out more about your little lady by asking her what she likes in a wine. Ask her questions like: Do you prefer white over red? Do you like sweet or dry? Do you like lighter or heavier wines? Do you have a preferred varietal that you like or perhaps a blend? As you get to know wine more there are other questions you can ask too.

Don’t do it in a demeaning or snobby way, like, “I know more than you do” or “I know better than you do,” attitude because you won’t get to first base let alone hit a home run! I’d be sick before the appetizers came and would get the first cab home.

Wine seems to be a big ticket item purchase for many men. It is like buying a car or a house. The man who asks his woman friend about her desires in wine will go along way because he is saying to her, “I care about what you think and your opinions and thoughts matter to me.” In her mind she things, “Geese, if he is willing to ask me what I want in wine, he’s totally gonna ask me what I want in bed, a car and house!” Ah, you know how we think men and we know how you think too!

All kidding aside, this display of humility shows her just how strong and secure you are and how thoughtful you are. More importantly, you are taking the time to really get to know more about her and help her explore her own desires…even if it is just wine for the time being. It is quite possible that she has never thought of any of those questions because none of the other guys ever bothered to ask her what she liked in her wines. Not to mention that many wine drinkers don’t think about those things until someone asks them, they just find something they like and stick with it not really knowing why they like it.

If after all of that she still doesn’t know what she likes then I would ask her if she would open to trying something you think she would like or even better use this as an opportunity to show her your more adventurous side and tell her your going to do your own little blind tasting. Choose several wines on the menu and discuss the differences and what she likes or doesn’t like and you share your thoughts too. This is actually very fun and interesting and could lead down other exciting paths. Some restaurants offer 4oz glasses for this very reason or a quartino, while other places have wine flights where you get three to six different wines served in two to three ounce portions. They are usually themed and can make for interesting conversation and an interesting learning experience and some big points.

In Santa Monica I visited a wine bar called Pourtal Wine Tasting Bar and they had a very cool enomatic system that allows you to have one-ounce tastes so you can really explore wines. They offer up to forty different wines from all over the world and it is always changing. Very progressive machine and concept.

If she knows what she likes in her wine, she probably knows what she likes in her men and a lot of other things too. Don’t be intimidated by her confidence and knowledge. She probably will be very interesting and have much to talk about. If you are a super smart guy, you will use this to your advantage and ask her a lot about how she knows so much and really listen to her. A woman who is heard by a man is a happy woman in deed and vice versa. You are showing her you are open to her suggestions and not afraid of her strength. She is your equal, a partner and possibly your best friend. Remember this isn’t a battle to prove your ego, save that for the guys. Be open to the idea that you will learn something from her and together the two of you will embark upon a fun evening and interesting conversation. You will get more bang for you buck!

All I’m saying is that you should really involve her in ordering the wine instead of manhandling her and the wine list. By the end of the night you will be her hero and you just might get lucky too (more bang for your buck) for the mere fact that you took the time to ask her what she liked! I’m not kidding!

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

In order to serve wine at a proper temperature, it’s often necessary to ‘unlearn’ some of the basic rules you’ve learned.

For example, the expression ‘room temperature’ is no longer relevant to wine. Modern central heating systems cause rooms to exceed 72°F. At that temperature, all wines lose their appeal.

The tendency of most wine drinkers is to overestimate the difference between wines – serving whites too cold and reds too warm. This is a reason that many white wine drinkers dislike red wine. To them it tastes too rich, syrupy, and exudes too much alcohol. A red wine served at an appropriate temperature greatly lessens those characteristics.

Another tragic myth is that white wine should be served out of the refrigerator. At 40°F, any wine’s aroma and flavor will be completely imprisoned.

All joking aside I think this is a must for your wine tool kit. Not only is it really cool but it is intelligent adding to your savvy image you are building amongst your wine drinking pals!

Here are some tools I found really useful and educational:
Wine Temperature Chart
Wine Temperature Facts

In addition, I highly recommend clicking on the Wine Temperature Tutorial in the bottom right hand corner! Great information.

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.

The coffee bean is a pretty big establishment with the serving area and then a huge area with tables for eating and people who hang out with their computers. What I loved most about The Coffee Bean, L.A. in general, was all the places you could find communal dining. Essentially you shared a table with other computer geeks and many times you end up meeting some pretty interesting people.

One afternoon I was typing away, making changes, sending emails and writing blogs when I noticed a guy sitting next to me. We caught eyes a few times, smiled and that was about it. About three hours later I get up to get some water and go to the bathroom and I asked him to watch my stuff to which he agreed. When I came back, he was packing up to go and out of no where he said, “Are you a blogger?” I laughed because I just never thought of myself that way. Shyly I responded with a giggle, “I guess I am.” He said, “I noticed the big W on your computer and figured it was wordpress.” So after a few minutes of exchanging pleasantries and information he friended me on LinkedIn.

Here is where it gets interesting. When I got home, I accepted his friendship on LinkedIn and out of curiousity clicked on his Twitter handle from his LinkedIn account and low and behold we had been following each other for quite some time! Here I am in L.A. sitting in The Coffee Bean and I run into a guy whose been one of my followers. I just thought that was really cool.  I mean what is the likely hood of that happening. He was from Santa Monica, I’m from Chicago and we both meet at a coffee house in L.A.!

If your curious his name is Antone Johnson. His twitter handle is @antonejohnson. He is an business and IP attorney and has a really interesting blog called Bottom Line for start up companies and he has a pretty impressive resume.

Upon reflection, I was pleasantly surprised to think that we live in such a small world and in some form or fashion we all seem to be connected!

©2010 FredasAdventures.com. All Rights Reserved.