Can We Control Our Thoughts?

In his article Happiness Is a Thought Away, Michael Lantz discusses the power of our thought system. He makes this excellent point that there is:

One common variable that exists during both high and low moods; belief in the thoughts behind the mood. We all have thoughts; we are thinking all the time. The characteristics of those thoughts are different during states of happiness and unhappiness, but in both cases we believe in the thoughts we are having.

Let’s say you are in a low mood and believe the negative, low quality thoughts you are having. Possibly you think that another person that means a great deal to you doesn’t care for you. You may think that someone is upset with you for something you did or did not do. These thoughts are associated with feelings of unhappiness.

If you have money problems, perhaps you believe that having more money would make you happy. Thoughts of not having enough make you also believe that you are not worthy or good enough to have more. These thoughts may make you feel guilty for not being able to provide an adequate lifestyle for your family.

Do you believe you are being criticized because you are overweight, unattractive or have outdated clothes? These thoughts may make you withdraw from others or you may become judgmental of other’s looks because you are trying to justify your low self image. Usually, unhappiness is associated with those that are judgmental of others.

The ironic fact is that when you are happy, you also believe the thoughts you are having. You believe that other people in your life, people that you genuinely love and care for, also care for you. If you are happy with the material things you own, the feeling comes from believing you are blessed with everything you already need…

I’ve spent a great deal of my life studying positivity to counteract much of the negativity I suffered from. I read a lot about the power of the mind, thought control, even religion all in attempt to get some peace of mind.

There was a time when I thought I could control my thoughts and if I could just figure out how I would be happy, until one dear pastor said to me that he sinned while sleeping with his thinking and referred to Paul in Romans 7 after he was born again. I understood what he was saying but did this mean I was doomed? Damn it, I wanted relief from my thoughts. This Principle Based Psychology and awareness into mental well-being has finally given me that peace. We can’t control our thoughts and anyone who says they can well I think they are full of rubbish. Our thoughts are constantly streaming into our mind and what has healed me is the realization that while I might have many thoughts I can choose which thoughts to believe and which ones to dismiss. Whereas before I thought I was a victim to my thoughts reacting and analyzing each and every one (mostly the negative ones) so I spent a great deal suffering from a poor attitude and in chronic low moods.

Isn’t that what depression is…believing all the bad thoughts in your head. I look back over my life as an observer and in every case that I was sad, mad, depressed or angry it was because I believed my thoughts and put a lot of weight on the outcome or my expectations.

I’m not suggesting we are happy all the time because that is unrealistic and a bit sadistic in my mind. I still cry, I laugh, I get sad, I get angry, I get mad and sometimes that can happen all within seconds, but I am aware they are just thoughts and instead of reacting to each and every one of them I now just observe them and am able to respond or not respond based on the information. I take my thoughts a lot less seriously and allow most of them to just pass through.

As all of us do, I do lose my bearings but when I do I quickly apologize and say, “I just lost my bearings. I am sorry.” It keeps me humble. I realize this is me falling into a low mood and grabbing a hold of junky thoughts or “as if” realities. Or when I am hit with a “thought attack” I am aware of it and DON’T respond to anyone nor do I make ANY decisions. I put up a sign that says, “DO NOT ENTER.” I protect myself and others from my bad mood.

So check out what you are thinking this weekend. Do you believe that your moods and happiness are directly related to people, places and things or trips and vacations or do you believe that your moods are created from the thoughts you are giving power to at any given moment?

I strongly encourage you to read the entire article by Michael Lantz  Happiness is a Thought Away. I also recommend reading:  How Come I Am Not as happy as I Am Rich? and Not-So-Great Expectations, How your plan gets in the way of happiness. If you are struggling with depression or know someone who is visit JoyfulHope.org to read more about mental well-being and depression.