The Nazi Waxologist – What A Wax Experience!

I have to share this experience with everyone because it simply horrified me. About two weeks ago I was going on vacation to Arizona on spring break and had to have my kitty waxed. The waxologist that I normally go to was out of town and located about an hour from where I recently moved, so in good faith, I called my best girlfriend Christi and asked her for her waxologist’s phone number. I heard her talk about her many times and she had nothing but great things to say about her so I trusted her. BIG MISTAKE.

So, I am really nervous about going to a new waxologist because you just never know what you are going to get. Some can be very shy and add to the awkwardness you may already be feeling, while others are more aggressive and just rip everything out regardless that you want to keep some of your beloved hair. After all pubic hair does serve a purpose and is more than just a “buffer,” it actually holds all of your sent in one area which is supposed to be a huge attracting factor to the opposite sex.

I get to the spa and meet my new waxologist: a five foot, polish woman named Lana. At first blush she seems very friendly and serious, I am feeling better and starting to relax….then we enter the room. After she closes the door, she orders me to take of my pants. Okay, no big deal right? I slowly take off my jeans and proceed to get on the table when she orders me to take off my underwear. “WHAT?” I exclaimed as I could feel my face get hot and sweat forming around my eyebrows, “My other lady doesn’t make me take off my underwear.” To which she replies, “She didn’t give you a wax like I am going to give you. Don’t worry, I have seen many p#$sises, it is my job! Do you think I care what yours looks like? What are you a baby? Who is Christi sending to me? A baby?”

Okay, I felt the pressure now…I didn’t want to be a baby, but I am incredibly shy when it comes to disrobing myself. So, I reluctantly follow her directions and get on her table. I just wanted a simple bikini wax to clean up the sides for my bathing suit. At this point I am scared of this woman. I don’t want to make her mad so I cooperate with her demands. I am afraid to show any signs of pain, yet I feel so helpless lying there on her table. I am thinking she is going to kill my kitty. I wouldn’t want to run into this woman in a dark alley. She tells me to throw my leg up on the wall, applies the hot wax and rips out the hair on my bikini line. I take a deep breath. Then she throws my other leg around her shoulders and makes me pull the skin really tight as she repeats the procedure again.

At this point I am dying, but I think to myself, “she is almost done, she is almost done,” when she demands me to turn over. In a nervous and shaky voice I say, “why? Why would I want to turn over?” She says, “Because, I am going to clean your asshole.” I was too scared to cry so I started laughing and seriously, I wasn’t going to argue with this woman. So, I complied with her demand, rolled over on my stomach and pushed my face in the pillow to stifle my screams, when she barks out, “give me your hands.” I had no idea what she needed my hands for. I reluctantly move my hands back towards my bottom and she says, “Grab both of your cheeks and spread them.”

At this point I don’t know if I am in a bad movie or back in 2nd grade playing “doctor” with my boy classmates. I was horrified and never felt weirder in my entire life than lying there in that room with my face buried in a pillow, holding my ass cheeks apart. I didn’t know if I should scream for help or just burst out laughing. I did the later. If someone took a photo of this and put it on YOUTUBE it would be awful.

Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt. I was shocked, but that didn’t make up for the fact that I felt as if I had been violated. I think this is my first lesbian experience and there is a reason why I am NOT a lesbian.

Thinking that I am done, I go to get off the table when she demands that I allow her to wax my lips! MY LIPS. Out of all the areas that one would want to have hair pulled from, she acts as if this is a good idea. I shake my head no, and am ready to run out the door half naked for my life. When she does it again and threatens to call my friend Christi and tell her what a baby I am. Oh the embarrassment. I don’t think I could handle the humiliation, so I oblige again to this demanding woman. Now we get into the Kumasatra for Waxologist.

First, I don’t think anyone has ever touched my kitty the way she did. She was pulling it apart, moving it around and searching for every possible little hair conceivable. I didn’t even know I had hair were she was searching. I didn’t know if I should cum or scream.

I really thought I would open my eyes and wake up from this bad dream, only to open my eyes and realize that she is going to rip the hair off of my vulnerable, sensitive lips. She has my legs wrapped around her head and her face inches from my kitty assuring me that she has seen them all and this is just her job. She applies the wax on one lip and rips it out as I am screaming, she does something I am just not prepared for……….she hits my p#ssy with her hand. I look up and at this point I want to strangle her. I said, “What the hell did you do that for?” and she replied, “It helps the pain.” I am trying to figure out how!! I wanted to go home NOW! I didn’t care if my kitty looked battered, beaten and had hairy bald patches, I didn’t care, I just wanted to go home. She would have none of it. She applies the wax to the other lip and rips it out followed by another slap. Ohh for the love of GOD will you STOP slapping my p##sy damn it!

It is over, or so I think. Turns out that she is a fricken perfectionist and wants to make sure the lip hair line lines up and proceeds to repeat the wax. At this point I start screaming, because she keeps waxing the same area. Once you wax an area it is pretty sensitive, to go back over it with that awful ripping motion is indescribable.

I manage to escape. I tell her I will come back in two weeks to have her clean it up. My vagina looks tattered and torn. I don’t care. I just want out.

A day goes by and I am in the shower and realize I really like what she did even though it was awkward and painful.

A few days go by and I love it.

3 years later I go back for more every month and Lana and I have this love hate relationship, but I’ve grown to love her and adore her. She is hilarious and her stories are unforgettable.

As Featured in N’Digo Magazine – “Girl Power”

Brainwashed by the media, girls of all ages are bombarded with negative images and behaviors by adult females on television, online, and in print. Young women are fighting to attain and maintain a standard of beauty that was set by an invisible judge with eating disorders and fake body parts.